I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
