her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
