So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize