I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
