I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
