I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
