hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
