My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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