Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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