Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
