i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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