I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize