we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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