I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
