i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
