How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
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normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
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there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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