when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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