she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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