is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
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who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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