i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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