I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
