I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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