what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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