I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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