Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
