I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
