She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
