so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
