So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
and you fell through a lawn chair
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
