Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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