Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
