it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
