If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
