Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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