Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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