I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wear drunk well.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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