drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
