Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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