This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Found the puke drawer
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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