Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i drank out of a bidet.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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