what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
