I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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