i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
