yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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