i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
