I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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