Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
