toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
