I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
This is my gift to your gina
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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