Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
