Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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