Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
