I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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