I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize