im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
