how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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