i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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