mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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