somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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