Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
