i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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