You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
