we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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