At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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