Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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