Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
