More tranny stories later!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
