My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
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well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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